


If I Die It’s With You

by vampsvngs



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Brian Kang - Freeform, Broken Love, Crying, Kang Younghyun - Freeform, M/M, Sad, Sadness, Tears, Young K, based off of pacman by eaj, being played with, break ups, broken relationship, chan from skz mentioned, menions of depression, sad shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:22:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28002360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampsvngs/pseuds/vampsvngs
Summary: loving wonpil hurt jae too much.
Relationships: Kim Wonpil/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Kudos: 10





	If I Die It’s With You

**Author's Note:**

> READ PLS
> 
> just like my pacman, just with jaepil & not minchan this time. PLS read pacman before you read this fic !
> 
> pls don’t steal my fics <3

Do you know that feeling of wanting someone to just simply  _ love _ you back? Especially someone you care about a lot?... You do, don’t you? A lot of people are new to this feeling, others not so much. Jae isn’t new to this feeling, at least not now. It’s been going on for two years and the person he wants to love him back is his boyfriend Kim Wonpil.

Jae doesn’t have it in him to just up and leave the younger, he loves him too much to do so. He knows he should have done so ages ago, before he started to fall too hard. Now, he can’t get back up, he had no one to catch him when he needed it most.

He still hopes that one day, Wonpil will love him back. Surprisingly, he hasn’t lost complete hope,  _ yet _ . He just deals with the pain of it all. He knows that Wonpil only shows him affection when he  _ wants _ Jae or if he needs something from him, like money. He can tell Wonpil didn’t want him for money today.

“ _ Please come over, baby. _ ” Wonpil’s sweet voice says on the other line. Though, there was something slightly off with his voice this time.

“Have you been drinking?”

Of course the younger has. When the other male drinks, he  _ only  _ wants to be pleasured. Jae remembers one time that Wonpil said, while tipsy, that he would just go back to his ex instead, trying to guilt Jae into sleeping with him. Jae caved in, of course. He’s head over heels for Wonpil.

“ _ And what if I have? _ ” the younger questions. “ _ I haven’t had much _ .”

“You say that everytime,” Jae sighs out. He plays with the string of his sweatpants, his nerves eating him up.

“ _ I promise I haven’t had much this time, Jae. Just, please, come over? I  _ **_need_ ** _ you _ .” Another sigh escapes Jae’s lips, after hearing these words.

“Fine, I’ll be over in ten, okay?”

“ _ Okay, thank you baby _ .”

“Mhm.” Then he hangs up, getting ready to go to the younger males house.

  
  
  


——

  
  
  


A few more months of this goes by, and Jae is waking up alone again. He should be used to this feeling but it just hurts more each time it happens. He just wants Wonpil to stay there, just one time.

Slowly, Jae brings himself up and out of Wonpil’s bed. He heads toward the kitchen and sees a note on the table.

  
  


_ I’ll be back here soon, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to! _

_ ~ wonpil <3 _

  
  


He crumbs up the paper and throws it away, then heads to the fridge. “At least he’s nice enough to keep buying silk milk,” he mutters, grabbing the carton then getting some cereal. He stays at the table and eats it.

  
  


Wonpil comes back a few hours later, surprised to see Jae still sitting there. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting you to still be here,” he says.

Jae pauses the movie and looks back at the younger. “Well, this is what you do when you love someone, you wait.”

Wonpil frowns at this. “I don’t see why you love me, if I’m being honest. Why do you?” he questions.

“Months ago, I’d be able to tell you, but during these past few months, you have crushed all the reasons why I do. Now, I just have strong feelings for you, for some damn reason.” Jae didn’t mean for his words to come out aggressive and harsh, but they did.

Wonpil only looks down at his feet, “Oh.”

It stays silent for a few seconds. “That’s all you have to say?”

“Well, yeah. What do you want me to say?” the younger male asks, looking back up.

“I honestly don’t know, but not just “oh”.” Jae says, getting up. “You know, it’s really hard loving you. All I want is for you to love me back. That’s all I have ever wanted, but no. You.. you play me like some game, like fucking pacman, I don’t know. I’m just, getting really tired of it all.” He started to yell towards the end.

“I’m sorry..” Wonpil whispers, staring at the elder.

Jae scoffs, “No you’re not.” He starts grabbing his things, getting ready to leave.

“Where are you going?” the other asks, his voice small. His eyes follow Jae as he walks past him. He turns arounds.

“Home, not like you care,” Jae says, opening up the door. “Bye.” Then he slams it shut, making Wonpil Jump a little bit.

Jae’s hands shake as he takes his phone out, clicking on a contact name and puts it up to his ear.

“ _ Hello? _ ”

“Brian, hey. C-can I come over? I just need to get my mind off things.”

“ _ Yeah, sure. What happened? _ ”

“I kind of yelled at Wonpil,” Jae breathes out, walking a little faster.

“ _ Oh, wow. Well, I actually have someone here that I want you to meet and could probably help you out _ .”

“Oh? I’ll be there in like twenty then.”

“ _ Okay, see you soon! _ ” Then the younger male hangs up.

~

“Jae, Chan. Chan, Jae.” Brian says, introducing his two friends. “Chan has gone through what you are going through right now.”

“Oh, he has?” Jae questions, looking at the youngest of the two in front of him. “How long ago?”

“About three months ago,” Chan answers, smiling sadly.

“You still love them, don’t you?” Jae questions, sitting down.

Chan looks away, playing with his fingers. “I do.”

“How did it all end, for you and him?” the eldest asks.

Jae sits there and listens to Chan’s story, his being very similar to Jae’s. He could understand the emotions Chan is feeling, because he feels them as well. Neither of them deserve to go through these things but they put themselves through them because of how much they love the other person.

“..and I just ended it all, even though I didn’t want to. It had to be done.” Chan finishes off.

Jae frowns a little. He doesn’t want to end it with Wonpil, there honestly wasn’t a reason to let this all keep going on, but he still didn’t want to end it. He loves Wonpil too much to let him go.

“I feel like you should end it too,” Brian says. Jae moves his glance over to his friend.

“I-I don’t know if I can..” Jae mutters, the frown on his face deepening.

Jae feels a hand rest on top of his own. “I believe you can, hyung,” Chan says.

Jae looks over at Chan and gives him a sad smile. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Chan says, returning a small smile.

  
  
  


——

  
  
  


Jae wakes up alone, again. It’s been three days since he yelled at Wonpil, only three. God, he’s so  _ stupid _ . He  _ knows _ he’s stupid but he just couldn’t help it. Like it’s been said multiple times, he just loves the younger male too much. Way too much for his own liking.

He has thought about ending the relationship, he did all last night. Jae doesn’t know if he can do it.

The tall male slips out of Wonpil’s bed, heading into the direction of the living room. “Oh, you’re still here. I thought you would have left already,” he says, entering the living room.

“I only stayed because I need to talk to you.”

Jae raises an eyebrow. “Oh, what about?”

“This relationship,” the younger male answers.

Panic fills Jae’s body instantly but he tries to stay calm. “Okay, then let’s talk about it,” he says, sitting down on the loveseat.

It stays silent between the two of them, for a few seconds, before speaking up, “I feel like we should break up.”

Oh, Jae knew it was coming, he  _ knew  _ it, but it still didn’t prepare him for the heartbreak he will experience. Why couldn’t he have done it himself earlier on? So it wouldn’t hurt as much? At least, he thinks he wouldn’t hurt much if he himself did it. But no, of course Wonpil had to beat him to it.

“What?” his voice comes out as a whisper.

“We should break up,” Wonpil repeats. Jae looks away from the other, looking at him would make the tears fall faster. “I want you to leave my home, please.”

He doesn’t know why, but Jae’s body fills up with rage, alongside the panic. “You know,  _ I  _ was supposed to break up with you, I have been planning on for a while and just had to ruin that too, huh?” Jae says, looking at the younger again. “But I couldn’t because I love you too much. I thought that maybe, just  _ maybe _ , that if I stayed with you, everything would be alright.” He’s crying by now.

“I’m sorry, Jae.”

“No you’re not! If you were, you wouldn’t treat me like shit, Pil! Treat me like some game, I’m not! I’m a human with emotions!” he yells out.

Wonpil sighs out, “Please leave, Jae.”

“Fine.”

Jae hurriedly gets his things together, getting ready. It only takes him a few minutes and he heads towards the front door.

“Be-”

“No, I don’t want to hear anything from you,” Jae starts, “Goodbye, Wonpil.” He opens the door, leaving out of it, and shutting the door in the younger males face.

Once Jae is finally outside, he leans against the side of the building, sliding down. He finally breaks down completely, soft sobs leave his lips and tears stream down his cheeks.


End file.
